Self-acceptance is
the first step of moving forward in life. It is the path towards peace and
tranquility. Self-acceptance is not something that is inborn, it is a trait
that you need to develop.
Knowing your flaws
and accepting them will reduce the amount of depression and anxiety.
Self-acceptance can give a sense of freedom and increased optimism.
1. You are not your behavior /
emotions
Often, people equate
themselves with their behavior or emotions. When faced with a challenging or
hard situation you may say something
like "I am depressed", "I am a failure", "I am
worthless". When you are saying "I am depressed", you are
equating yourself to the depression. But the reality is you are just feeling
depressed. You are not the depression itself!
In the same way, if
we fail in something, automatically most of our minds think that "I am a failure". We over-generalize our flaws and mistakes and equate ourselves
to the mistake.
Here, all you have
to do is to put a fine line between who you are, and the mistake you make.
Understand that you are not your behavior, be it good or bad.
For example, let's
say Bob is an artist. He paints fine pictures and most of his paintings get
sold out very fast. One day, he changes his mind and sets out to become a
doctor. After struggling and studying hard Bob has become a doctor. Now, will
you call Bob an artist or a doctor?
A doctor, right!
In the same way, all
your behaviors and emotions are something that can be changed. Equating
yourself to them will only bring on more self-hatred. Hence, always try to
separate you from what you are feeling.
2. Celebrate your strengths
When you feel that
you cannot move forward because you are stuck in the loop of some failure.
Then, start listing your strengths. What are you good at? For what were
you appreciated? What areas of work do you excel in?
No one is completely a failure. You are just
thinking that you are a failure. And it does not mean that whatever you think
should be necessarily true.
And you know what
will be your greatest strength - Accepting your weakness as much as you
celebrate your strengths.
We do not accept
ourselves enough because we compare ourselves a lot. Understand that no one in the world
is perfect. Everyone has their own flaws. Do not compare your dark side with
someone's bright side and feel depressed over that.
Also, people
struggle with acceptance because they expect themselves to be perfect and
flawless. They beat themselves for one mistake. Understand no one and nothing
is perfect. NOTHING!
Once you stop comparing yourself with others and stop your perfectionist attitude, you will
slowly thrive into the acceptance mode!
4. Stop judging
People fail to
accept themselves because of Judging. They judge everything around them a lot
that they end up judging themselves even worse. Being non-judgmental means
accepting everyone and everything.
The most important
thing that I learned about judging is that "You judge people only because
you judge yourself".
Suppose, you judge
someone based on their looks, then you should have judged yourself based on
your looks. What is inside only reflects outside. When you accept your flaws
and stop judging yourself then you will automatically stop judging the world
around you. This will lead to extreme peace and happiness.
5. Let go
Clinging on to our
past mistakes and regrets will do no good to us. Letting go and forgiving
yourself is the key to self-acceptance. Flaws and failures are a part of our
life. Look around, and tell me one person who has been only successful all
through his/her life. Mistakes and failures are inevitable.
Therefore, it is
wise to accept them. Accept and learn from your failures. Embrace your flaws.
Accept that you can make mistakes, after all, you are a human!
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