Most of us think
that happiness lies in accumulating the positive. We try to set out for a voyage to find a better
life while carrying a bag of unwanted sorrows with us. No matter how far we go
in search of happiness, we will never find it until and unless we let go of our
bag of sorrow.
"Letting
go" is more easy said than done. It is a very simple way to have a happy
mind yet a very powerful one.
Letting go is not
forgetting a painful memory, it is not just erasing something from your mind.
Letting go does not work like that.
Trying to forget or
erase a memory will not work most often. Because, you will actually not forget
the memory but you will suppress it. Suppressing a negative thought might be a
relief for the short term. But, in the long run it is obviously a problem.
So, most
effective and efficient way to live a happy life is not in avoiding the negative
but in letting go of it.
Letting go is
nothing but not giving your power to that feeling. For example, if you are
threatened by someone in the past and you still hold a grudge on them, you can
let go by forgiving them. Stop giving power to thoughts and people to control
you.
One more important
point is that 'letting go' does not mean you are weak. It actually means you
are strong and powerful. You need so much courage to let go.
When you hold a
grudge against someone or if you have a negative feeling always bringing you
down then it means that you are stuck with your life. You are not moving on
with your life. You are being too hard on yourselves.
Stop beating
yourself up because of the past. You deserve more power in your life. To gain
back your power, all that you have to do is let go.
1. Empathy
When you develop
empathy, you will find it easier to let go of grudges and vengeance. Because,
the basic concept of empathy is to understand the other person. To think like them and feel like them.
First, understand
that each and every person in this world is unique. No one has to accept your
values and vice versa. So stand in their shoes and understand why they did
what they did to you. How would they be thinking when cheating on you? When threatening
you?
Understand their
side of righteousness. Every situation/experience you undergo has a positive
side to it. Anything at all. So, look at it and understand their motive.
2. Questions
The power of questions
is always underestimated. The way you question yourself can bring profound
clarity to you.
When you are keeping
on holding on to a negative feeling, it basically becomes like a part of your
body and you may find it or at least think that it is impossible to give away
that feeling. You might have created your identity around that feeling.
When you catch
yourself at this point in life. Then ask questions to yourself.
Ask, "What is
that I am holding on?", "What is that I have to let go to lead a
peaceful life?", "What is that is stopping me from letting go?",
"How is this negative feeling serving the purpose of my life?" , "Should
I hold on to this negative feeling", "if no, why?", "If
yes, why?"
These are some of
the questions you can ask yourself. You might come up with your own set of
questions too :)
3. Exercises
There are a lot of
exercises you can do to let go. These exercises might leave you light and calm
after doing it. Some of the exercises are
- Write down what you want to let go in a paper or a hydrogen balloon. And then, hold it and think all the negative feelings that one thing has given to you. Imagine that you are transferring all these thoughts and emotions into that paper/ balloon. Now let that float away in the air and disappear. This would give relief to my mind. For example, if I am holding on to a past abusive relationship. Then I write, "Past abusive relationship and the mental torture I underwent" in the balloon/paper and then I will let it fly.
- Meditation - Meditation is the go-to exercise to calm your mind and free your thoughts. Just 5 minutes of meditation might help you so much.
- Guided meditation - This one has worked 'WOW' for me and has left me in tears. Guided meditation will really help you unload the sorrow bag on your shoulders and it will ease your pain.
These are some of
the ways you can actually let go of what is holding you from becoming your
highest potential. Letting go is a must if you wanted to grow ahead in your
life.
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