What is Positive Self talk? How to use it and its benefits?

Words hold profound power. Especially the words we say to ourselves. Self-talk is the process of talking to ourselves and how we talk to ourselves decide the direction of our life. It will decide if our life is positive and active or negative and dull.

According to my experiences, I would say that it really depends on how much importance you give to yourself. If you are important to you then you will never let yourself down with all those negative self-talk.

Basically, there are two ways you talk to yourself - negative and positive. Negative self-talk is where you put yourself down and don’t respect your feelings. Positive self-talk is is where you accept yourselves and decide to be there for you.

The common misunderstanding of self-talk is that you need to be positive even when you are sad. Please don’t do that. Do not ignore the negative. You have to just accept the negative. Let me clear you with an example

Let's say that you are feeling insecure about yourselves. So, you always have a negative image of you in your mind and you keep on cursing yourselves for everything. You will have negative self-talk ruminating in your mind and you feel like you can never stop being negative.

Your negative self-talk: " I am useless, I am not worthy of anything in this life"

Now, someone comes to you and says that you should be more positive about you. You take their advice and try to be positive by saying positive things about yourself.

Positive self-talk you say: "I am wonderful and worthy"

While this may seem all colorful and positive there is hidden chaos inside it. You may say this to yourself but do you really believe it? If you say positive things by suppressing your negative feelings and by not believing it, then it will have a counter effect. Instead of making you feel good, this type of positive self-talk will make you feel irritated because deep down you know that you are just decorating a lie.

Okay, so how do you practice positive self-talk?

As I always say, first pause and reflect. Then Accept your mistake. Then Affirm positive sentences to talk to yourself.

For example, you go out to a party with your colleagues. When talking, you try to crack a joke and no one laughs. You feel so embarrassed and useless. The negative self-talk you give to yourselves will be something like "I should not have said that. They will think that I am a clown. I don’t even know to socialize with people". This will make you more anxious when you are going out to another party.

Instead of this, you can first stop when you are trying to be hard on yourselves and think a bit.

" Can everyone be funny? Nope.

I was trying to socialize at least. I was putting an effort!

Is everyone perfect? No"

After reflecting on your questions and thoughts now accept what happened to you. Instead of telling " I shouldn't have said that", say that " Yes, I said that. I feel a little embarrassed but that will never make me unworthy. I am trying to socialize and I know that I will get better at it. After all, I am not Charlie Chaplin who makes everyone laugh!"

Now affirm. Use positive sentences to boost your mood. Say that " I am worthy and a happy person who loves to socialize". This will enhance your mood. And you will feel less or no anxious the next time you go out.

Benefits of Positive self-talk

1. Improves the quality of your life

Positive Self-talk improves the quality of your life. No matter how much you argue that your life is based on other people and the circumstances, the reality is that your life is completely in your hands. Most of them do not understand the power they have to elevate their life. So they end up hiding under blaming someone else for their life.

When you indulge in positive self-talk, it means that you take over control over your life and when you are in control you can direct where you want your life to go. This will increase the quality of your life.

2. Reduces stress

Positive self-talk helps in reframing the way you approach stressful situations. Instead of thinking the negative situation over and over and getting depressed, you will be able to change the approach to the situation by changing the way you talk to yourself.

Positive self-talk helps in developing the "I can do" mindset. This mindset is required to combat any stressful situations. This also helps you become optimistic. An optimistic person is more likely to effectively tolerate stressful situations and work towards improvement.

3. Strengthens Relationships

It is always good to be around people who are positive and confident. Positive self-talk helps in building confidence which in turn will make you vibe at a higher level. This will attract more people to you. And also this will help in building a relationship.

Positive self-talk can be really elevating and life-changing. Start incorporating it into your daily life.

All the best!