One essential skill
that everyone needs to develop is good listening skills. Being a good listener
will help you view the world through the
other person's eyes. You will be able to develop empathy and maintain serenity
once you start listening to what others say.
I used to be someone
who was very impulsive to interrupt someone while they are talking and give my
opinion right away. This habit made the speaker uncomfortable and stop abruptly
without completing their sentence.
After realizing that
I have been doing a mistake, I started developing good listening skills. After
becoming an efficient listener, I understood that I was missing out a lot of
information by not lending my ears properly.
Most of us tend to
daydream instead of listening. Instead of zoning out all the time, let's try to
focus on the speaker. I think it will make more sense once we tune up our
listening skills and start listening to the one who is putting effort to speak
to us.
1. You win by listening
Most of us think
that listening to someone speak will not bring us any benefits. But the reality
is that the more you listen to others, the more others will listen to you.
The key part of any
relationship or work is communication. To build an effective personal or
professional relationship you need strong listening skills.
Therefore, in this case, you are not only listening to the other person but also building
meaningful relationships which act as a win-win situation for both the speaker
and the listener.
2. Eye contact
Eye contact will act
as direct feedback to the speaker. The person who is speaking can figure out
if you are listening or not by your eye contact.
So, always try to
maintain direct and smooth eye contact with the person you are speaking to.
3. Sympathize
It is not feasible t
only look at the other person speaking. If you have a blank and expressionless
face then it will be obvious that you are not listening.
So, always nod your
head in case of agreement. And add "yeah'" and "yes" in
between the conversation. Also, show some expression in your face in case of
excitement, appreciation, or disappointment.
4. Do not interrupt
Keep in mind that
when you interrupt someone while they are taking then that will result in a
broken communication. As said earlier, communication is the key to
professional or personal development. With a broken communication it is pretty
hard to move ahead in that conversation. So make sure that you are not
interrupting anyone while they are speaking. Only speak once they are done.
5. Do not mind read
If you have some
disagreements in the conversation, then please do not mind read and assume
something. Always, be ready to ask questions. Asking meaningful questions is
one of the right ways to get deeper into the conversation. Also, you will
understand more about the context of the conversation.
Questioning will
also reduce the conflicts that arise due to mere assumptions. It will clear the
clouds of doubt and showcase the bright sky.
6. Do not use gadgets
Avoid the usage of
gadgets when someone is speaking to you. This will make you lose some parts of
the information they are sharing. You will only process the information you
heard and the whole context of the communication might get collapsed. Always
have your complete focus on the speaker to get all the benefits from the
communication.
7. Put yourself in their
perspective
When someone is
speaking to you, try and put yourself into their shoes and think in terms of
the opposite person. Avoid comparing your point of view and their point of
view. When you understand their perspective it will be much easier for you to
continue with the conversation in a flawless manner.
8. Summarize
Develop the habit of
summarizing what the other person said once they are done speaking. This will
give them the idea that you are listening to. Summarizing will also assure that
you have understood them in rightly. Understand that the need to be a good listener
is to develop good relationships in every way. Therefore make sure that you
have a clear understanding of everything that they have said.
9. Listen to learn
Most of us listen to
the other person, to answer. If you focus on answering or thinking about what
you are going to say next, then you will miss what the speaker is speaking.
Hence, listen to
learn, not to answer.
10. Know what not to do
- Do not interrupt while the person is talking
- Do not arrogantly interrogate the other person. You should only calmly question them.
- Do not try to change the subject even if it feels a bit uncomfortable
- Do not jump in and try to solve the other person's problem. Most of the time, people will just want you to listen to them.
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