We
all have faced rejection in our lives at some point. Be it a job, a
relationship, or studies. Rejection actually hurts. We feel personal with it,
we get into a lot of negative thoughts
or feelings. We put ourselves down and start hating ourselves just because
someone rejected us.
Rejection
stimulates emotional pain, which in turn produces physical pain (e.g., feeling
your heart drop, obtaining a headache or feeling vertiginous, noticing a rising
"fight or flight" sensation, etc.).
One
way to easily get out of rejection is to be prepared for it. This does not mean
that you should have a pessimist approach to everything. It is just that it is
always better to calculate the odds and be prepared for it.
The
better we tend to get at handling rejection, the less it affects us. Therefore
how can you build yourself the ability to cope?
Keep Things in Perspective
Tell
yourself: "Ok, I got rejected now. Perhaps next time, I am going to get a
'yes'" or "Oh, well. This is what happens. I do not find it
irresistible. It is not; however, I wished things to figure out. Anyway
everybody gets rejected —and that I will strive once more.
When
you get rejected instead of feeling helpless and depressed, keep in mind of the
times where you were accepted, once you created the cut, once somebody told you
"yes." consider all those people who liked and supported you.
Give
yourself credit for the attempt you tried on. You took a risk — sensible for
you. Remind yourself that you will handle the rejection. Even if its rejection
that you get, there'll be another chance, over again. Get philosophical:
typically, things happen for reasons we do not invariably perceive.
Focus on what you continue to have in your life.
Don’t
overwhelm over the thoughts of rejection. Do not isolate yourself because of
someone rejected you. Continue doing the work you do, the people, the passions
or hobbies, follow them instead of weeping for what you lost.
Tapping
into feeling like this helps you to place what happened into perspective and
not to let it overwhelm yourself.
Take
into account how you are explaining the rejection to yourself. Are you too
difficult on yourself? It's natural to surprise, "Why did this
happen?" after you offer yourself an explanation, stay to the facts.
Tell
yourself: I got rejected in the interview cause I need to crack it well next
time. Don't think it's because of your appearance or you are not good enough
for this job. These are not facts. They imagine a reason, reading too much into
a scenario. If takedown thoughts like these begin to creep into your mind, shut
them down.
Use Rejection to Your Advantage
A
rejection could be a chance to contemplate if there are things we can work on.
If your skills weren't firm enough now, perhaps you can figure on your game,
your studies, your interview techniques. So no matter what you increase your
possibilities of obtaining accepted next time. Use rejection as a chance
for improvement.
Remember: this is temporary, not permanent
When
you get rejected, then you will feel that you are going to get rejected all the time you try. That the hurt can perpetually be there. Just because you got
denied doesn't suggest you'll get rejected during a similar state of affairs
next week.
The
truth is it's a short-term situation. It won't last for the remaining days of
your life if you retain moving forward gradually, continue learning. It won't
label you as a failure, so don't place that label on yourself.
Pay Attention to Your Inner Critic
When
you've faced rejection, then it's not right to start pulling yourself further
down by taking note of your inner critic. The inner critic is that voice that
whispers or drones on in your mind. When you notice this voice getting down to
pipe up in your mind, shut it down before it becomes an enormous snowball of
negative thoughts that you'll have a tough time stopping. When you tell the
inner critic to shut up, you can focus on what you continue to have in your
life.
Take a step back and give some self-care
Anger
and hurt can most likely be your immediate reactions during a rejection.
However, contrary to well-liked belief, your anger does not facilitate to bring
the negative feeling down. Activities like travel and going for a run, doing
yoga, or meditating are some of the beneficial ways that induce you to a
balanced place. Therefore you think more clearly about the situation rather
than stepping into the rut of emotional thinking. And if those activities are
not your issue, attempt participating in something that helps you settle
down.
Mindfulness vs. over-identification
Mindfulness
focuses our awareness on this moment, learning to take a seat with a plan or
expertise while not judgment. Additionally, having mental and physical health
attentiveness helps us to avoid over-identifying with painful thoughts and
feelings. We will feel our feelings while not permitting our negative thoughts
to require over. We will avoid boarding a train of "critical inner
voices" that causes catastrophes and deform ourselves and our reality.
Attentiveness meditation or respiration exercises also can feel calmer once our
emotions or reactions arise.
Sometimes
a rejection could be a harsh reality check. But if your look it in the right
manner, it could help you move in a direction that will be the perfect fit for
your attitude, personality, and all great things that make you who you are.
A
self-esteem toolbox filled with beneficial thought habits and strategies won't
make you indestructible to rejection or any other mode of a negative situation.
It rather makes you stronger. The emphasis, on what you still got in life, on
what you can maybe do out of the ordinary and the actions that keep you strive
forward.
Even
if it's by just taking one small step at a time.
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