Do you sometimes
wonder seeing couples who are happily married for years and stay the same
always? I do. I think "How in the world, two people can be married like 50
years together?", "Won't they fight?", "Won't they have
disagreements?". I always wonder about how relationships last. I was
having a fixed minded outlook towards relationship until I came across how to
be a growth-minded individual in a relationship to make it last longer. I also
came to the conclusion that no matter how many differences couples have, the love -
if it is real, it is worth all the imperfections and effort.
Below are some of
the tips I got from healthy long-lasting couples to live a beautiful life
together
1. Communicate
Lack of communication is the number one
reason why relationships don't last. You have to communicate what and how you feel
to your partner. Or else, nothing would change. No one can read your mind and
understand what is going through. You have to talk about it for yourself. Talking it
out does not mean yelling. Yelling is not communicating.
You
have to listen to your partner's position without interrupting him or her. You
have to then summarize what they have said, even if you don't agree. And then you
have to tell how you feel like and what the problem is.
Also,
just talking about the problem will not solve it. Sit and talk to each other to
drive a compatible solution to the problem.
2. Be Realistic
Every relationship will be a roller-coaster ride
of excitement and fun at the beginning. But gradually, it will become blunt.
All days will not be sunny and full of lilies.
You will have to accept the fact that there will be rainy days and days
where you would not enjoy each other's company.
You
must digest the fact that your "Honeymoon" period of a year or two
has ended and it is the real showtime. You have to start being realistic to
travel in a long term relationship.
3. Spend quality time together
You have to spend time together without
interruptions. Have a day in a week for being together. Not just watching a movie
or playing games together, just go for a walk together or do chores together.
Be with each other and be for each other.
4. Work on the relationship
Most of them think that if they have to work on
a relationship, it means that something is seriously wrong with their
relationship. Maintaining a long-lasting relationship isn't natural. It
requires effort. You have to understand each other. There will be
misunderstandings and ego clashes. But, you have to put your relationship beyond
everything that is pulling y'all down. Good relationships require work
obviously.
5. Don't try to change your
partner
If
both you and your partner stop trying to change each other, you will eliminate
the source of most of your arguments. Stop complaining about how your partner
is not up to your expectations and try to be grateful for all that they are.
Once, you stop complaining, your partner will automatically follow what you
are saying or will at least try to improvise themselves for the love on
you.
6. Give their space
Enjoying their own company and doing what they love is as important as spending time
together. There should be no restrictions and boundaries in a relationship.
Love should liberate people not cut their wings. Let your partner do whatever he
or she wishes to. If you genuinely feel that what they are up to is not good for
the family and themselves, just let them know in a polite manner. If they have a real love for you and your words, they would obviously obey you.
7. Embrace differences
At the beginning of every relationship, you
feel 'one' with your partner because you both might like the same things or talk about the same topics. But, as days go by you might find so many differences
between you both. If he or she is different from you, it does not mean that you
have to fight for it. Just accept who they are and be with those differences. All of
us in the world need to be accepted. Just by embracing their differences, you
learn more about them. You might probably fall in love with those imperfections
and differences too :)
8. Be Honest
Honesty
is the most important trait of being in a relationship. All the above points
make no sense if you are not honest with each other. If you are in a genuine
relationship it is never hard, to be honest.
The
happiest couples are the ones where honesty is as natural and every day as
breathing.
9. Respect each other
Treat
your partner with respect and you will get the same respect in return. Respect
their choices and the way of doing things. Say "Thank you" often and
be grateful to each other. Appreciate your partners work and effort he or she
put in to do any task. Be supportive of all the ventures they take and be their
best friend!
May
your life fill with best moments!
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