10 Ways to handle Perfectionism

Perfectionists are the people who beat up themselves to achieve higher. It is hard to be aa perfectionist. If you recognize yourself as a perfectionist, you may know how difficult your life is.

Perfectionist consider themselves as high achievers. But, according to psychology that is not the case. Perfectionist and high achievers differ in so many ways. High achievers always aim for excellence and they also learn from their mistakes. Whereas, on the other hand, perfectionists aim for perfection in everything they do.

Mostly, Perfectionists aim for accuracy in the work they do. They tend to sacrifice their health and relationships to maintain perfectionism in their work.

They also overdo the work they have. To be frank, the world is in entropy. Nothing in this world is perfect and stable. Look around you and see how many things are imperfect. I am sure that you will find at least a dozen things that are imperfect. If you search for perfectionism you will always find imperfect things that need to be corrected. This will make your life miserable.

The life of a perfectionist is quite hard. They might not be able to enjoy their life. They are more prone to depression and anxiety. They take up too much stress just to straighten up things. Ufff… My dear perfectionists, I can understand that you are so hard on yourselves. But, don’t you think it is time for a change? You should probably start embracing your imperfections. After all, a crooked smile is always the most beautiful!

1. Recognize your perfectionist thought pattern

Most of the perfectionists have this All or nothing thinking pattern which means they think that "If something is not perfect then I am a failure". This is one of the major causes of depression.

Whatever you see, relationships, career, work, or anything. Nothing is perfect. If you have this all or nothing thinking then you will waste your whole precious life just to make things perfect. You will miss out on the beautiful moments of your life. You will be anxious and depressed all the time.

So, always catch yourself when you are saying "I am a total failure because I did not send the email in a correct format", "I am miserable because I have a pimple on my cheek". Observe what you are saying and stop yourself there.

2. Challenge your inner critic

It is hard to satisfy a perfectionist. They always have this inner urge of wanting more and more. They can never be content with what they have.

Suppose, you have won the "Best Performing Employee" award then instead of being happy, your inner critic might say "You loser! You lost the Employee of the year" award. Shut your inner voice. It is the most dangerous enemy you have ever got.

3. Set more realistic goals

Perfectionists always tend to blow up their goals to meet their higher expectations. It is good to set high expectations but the thing is perfectionists have too high expectations that they end up beating themselves to achieve that.

So, always set some realistic goals. Follow the S.M.A.R.T goal process to set a goal right.

4. Spend more time on self-care

I should stress this point because people who are perfect are so concentrated on achieving their goals, they might work all day and night without attending to themselves. They might even starve themselves just to reach their high standards.

If you are perfectionist, then you might know how hard you are on yourself. Spend a day in a week just for yourself. Do what you enjoy without any goal or deadline to meet. Taking care of yourself is the first step to happiness.

5. Say 'No' more often

Perfectionist have this habit of saying 'yes' to any task because of their high level of ambition.

Perfectionists are already beating themselves up with their workload. But still, they are more than ready to add up to their overload by saying "Yes" to everything that is given to them.

If you keep on saying yes, then your stress level will stack up as much as your work overload.

6. Take time off

Don’t work too hard that you drain out all your energy and crumble behind. Too much of anything is good for nothing.

Go for a vacation, Spend at least one day a week with your family, watch movies, go shopping. Most of the perfectionists think that time off is time wasted. No. Time off is for recharging yourself

so that you will be more calm and clear. You can't keep on running without a minute to catch your breath.

Taking time off will also help you to enjoy the process. We are too busy getting to the destination that we forget to enjoy the journey that takes us there.

7. Reward yourself

Here is where again your inner critic will pop up. It won't give you any reward. It will want you to keep running until you collapse. But, for the good of everyone, you no need to collapse to reach that goal. Time to time pause and recognize your hard work. Reward yourself with your favorite things. Rewards also help you enjoy what you are doing and will boost your mood level.

8. Don’t Multitask

Perfectionists have higher ambitions, for this, they always have a lot to do on their plate with so little time. So, they have this habit of multi-tasking. Multitasking actually lowers your efficiency of getting the task done.

Since perfectionists have this habit of doing things perfectly, their multi-tasking ability might contradict that. So, they overdo the task and waste most of their time. Multi-tasking will never help you to complete any tasks at an appropriate level.

9. Make mistakes

Perfectionists are so scared of making mistakes. I would always recommend doing something that scares you. Once you do something that scares you it will automatically lose its power and it will no longer be a threat.

If you feel that you have to check a mail thrice before sending it, then check it once and send it. If you think, you have to document something with perfect grammar and alignment, then try doing it less perfect. You will see that world did not melt because you did not be perfect!

10. Don’t expect others to be perfect

This one brings more depression to our perfectionist friends. Since they are perfect (or at least they think themselves as that) they want/demand others also to be perfect.

You see, all of us are unique. For me, I suck at being perfect and I really enjoy my imperfections. When someone expects me to be perfect I actually find it illogical. Obviously, I can't meet their needs. So, these perfectionists become pissed off. They think if someone is not perfect then they are a failure. This piles up more worry on their shoulder. So, please if you are perfectionist, don’t expect the same out of others.