In today's era of
social media, criticism, and bullying has become a top-notch issue. People have
also become very sensitive to everything that is being said on social media.
A single negative comment on your Instagram post would drain your whole energy
for the day.
Negative criticism
will occupy the whole mind and people keep ruminating it over and over. Our
mental health is damaged to a great extent that people even commit suicide for
negative criticisms.
Nowadays, it is all
about pleasing people. We curl back if someone judges us or criticizes us. Our
mental health is on stake because we are not taught to handle simple things
like criticism.
Basically, there are
two types of criticisms - Constructive and destructive. Constructive criticism
is something that encourages us to do better, it points out our mistakes so
that we can correct them. Whereas, Negative criticism is something that tears us
apart.
For example, let's
say you are posting a video on a recent issue. Constructive criticism is where
you get comments like, "Good Video. But, you can improvise your video
making skills". This sounds kind and correct. On the other hand, destructive criticism might sound hurting. It will be something like, "You
make stupid videos. Why do you even want to try something you are not fit for.
Quit, for the sake of god!"
Let that sink in. It
is better to understand to identify the differences between negative and
positive criticism. Criticism is not bad. In fact, it is much needed for one's
success. The thing is you should know which criticism to take in and which one
to avoid.
Now, let's see the
tips to handle negative criticism
1. Listen to what they say
Most of us are
impulsive to the negative criticism. We tend to shout back. Remember, shouting
back gives the criticizer more power and it will hurt you even more. So as a
first step always hear what they are saying.
If someone
criticizes you over a message or comment, read that comment over, and understand
how would they be acting or feeling at that moment. Or, if you are cool to
ignore such comments that you are already ahead to handle negative criticism.
2. Pause and ask this question
Rather than wasting
your energy over typing a long reply or shouting back, just pause for a moment
and ask yourself, "Am I believing what the other person is saying?".
If you are shouting at or getting angry then indirectly it means that you are
somehow agreeing with what the other person is saying. So, before bursting out
ask yourself "do you believe?". If the answer is no then ignore. You
no need to waste your energy on a person who does not even know you. If the
answer is Yes, then take it as constructive criticism and make changes to
improvise yourself.
3. Is it Valid?
This is the most important question you have to ask yourself. You believing the statement is one
thing while the validity of the statement is another. Now, ask yourself
"Is the Criticism valid?" or are they just trying to act cool. This
happens a lot of time, people just comment badly on you just to look cool. Ensure
that you don’t become prey to someone else's ego.
4. Source of the criticism
Who criticized you?
And Why did they do it? Are you being criticized by someone who actually has
the right or is it some random person? You should always take criticisms by
understanding the source.
Let's say that you
have written a short story that you always wanted to write and published it in
Wattpad. If a fellow author comes and criticizes you then you can consider the
source somewhat valid. But, if someone who never knows about story writing or
the person who has not even read a single story comes and tells you that you
don’t know to write a story then I think you should never even consider that.
5. You cannot please everyone
The main reason we
get upset over someone criticizing us because we feel that the other person
dislikes us. Understand that you were not put on this wonderful planet to
please everyone. There will be people who don’t like you and that is ok. No one
is ever loved by everyone. Gandhiji has haters, Kalam sir has haters if these
legends and philanthropists are even hated. What will leave us from being
hated?
6. Are they on your list?
Write down a list of
people who are very close to you and for whom you would do anything. Now,
whenever someone gives you a destructive criticism check if that person is in
your list of close people. If not then ignore. Because people who value you
will never destroy you.
7. Respond with grace
When you respond
with grace to the destructive criticizers, it will unload their ammunition to
fire against you. Only when you react to someone, you give them the power over
you. If you don’t even react or react with grace and respect even after their
criticism then that will cut off their nose.
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