As human beings,
brought up in this world of differences we tend to easily and unconsciously
judge others. I have also been judgmental, I have judged people based on their
looks, the way they dress, the way they behave and all.
Actually, we all
tend to judge others in one way or the other. Someone might have worn dirty
clothes, we might say "Eww. He looks so untidy, he must be a lazy
fellow", When we see a girl a little chubby we say "She is so fat,
she must eat so much of chips", When someone loses their temper, we judge
them by saying "He is so rude, he should be a psychopath". Have you
also said some statements like this? I bet some of you should have!
In reality, that
girl you called might have some problem with her health, that guy you called a
psychopath might be depressed. We really know right?
And, you know what
judging not only hurts the one being judged but also the one who is judging.
Every thought has an energy and as you all know what goes from you comes back to you in some way.
When you keep on putting negative judgmental energy out, guess what you will
be judges as well.
Being Non-judgmental
increases your level of serenity and peace. You know that the whole universe is
full of flaws and you can never expect someone to be perfect based on your
standards, right?
When you lower your
expectations on how others should behave you automatically reduce your
judgmental attitude.
You judge
someone because you have those characteristics
There is a saying
known as 'Perception is projection'. Whatever you see in others should be
present in you or else you might not be able to see that in others.
For example, have
you been depressed that everything you see seems more depressing. You may see
rain and feel 'how pathetically uncomfortable it is to rain'. In the same way,
you might find someone frustrating only because "the frustration" is present
in you.
So, the next time
whenever you judge someone bring in the fact that you are judging them because
you have that character inside you somewhere.
Remember, you can
only see what you know. You know the frustration, you know laziness that is why you
judge that other one as "lazy" or a "psychopath".
Observe
Catch yourself
judging. When you know that you are judging someone, pause, and reflect.
Ask yourself a
question of why you are judging them and observe your thoughts. Mostly, your
judgmental attitude is illogical. You might not even know that. Just by asking
some questions, you might be able to throw light on your illogical attitude.
Suppose, you are
judging someone based on their clothes. Stop and ask yourself "Why should
someone be judged because of the clothes they wear? What if they had a poor
financial situation? Should a piece of cloth determine a person's worth? Do
they have to be perfect and up to my standards?"
Questions will help
you ponder and you will find the right answer there!
Avoid Stereotyping
One of the major
reasons for judging people is because you stereotype them. You or the society
would create some imaginable rules and force them on people to follow. If
people are following their hearts instead of your rules, then you judge them.
A great example is
LGBT marriages/relationships. Society thinks that is not acceptable. But,
really is it? In this world, no one is bound to please anyone. They can do what
they wish to do. And stereotyping people based on your attitude and beliefs is
unacceptable.
Empathy
The solution for
living a nonjudgmental life is by developing empathy.
Empathy will help
you to look through the other person's eyes. When you understand the other
person's world, you will naturally develop respect for them. This will help in
reducing judging.
Empathy will also
enhance your quality of life. It will also help you develop perspective. You
will understand the different perspective from which the world works.
Love yourself
If you are judging
others, then it is more likely that you judge yourself more.
You judge yourself
by the way you look, feel and think. You might also be hard on yourself.
If you develop much
self-love then, it would be easier for you. First, you will stop judging
yourself. Secondly it will help you reduce your judgmental attitude. As a
result, you can live a whole and fulfilled life.
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